that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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