Buhtt sex?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
