This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
