did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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