Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
