I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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