Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
