I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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