ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
