Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
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