she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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