I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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