it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
