If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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