He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize