lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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