why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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