I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
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