Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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