sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
