I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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