lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Randomize
