What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
she looked like the before picture.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
