This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize