he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
