you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
