just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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