You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Porn is love you can see.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
