Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Best friends brother. Beat that.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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