dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
