just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
