i think i have herpe
just one?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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