I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
