sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
