smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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