hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
