So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
