I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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