Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
