I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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