that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize