dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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