what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
