Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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