idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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