i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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