C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
