I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
