yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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