I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize