i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
