I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize