My balls are so social today.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize