you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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