Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
