In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
