Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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