My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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