Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
