Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
