Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
