I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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