is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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