I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
you had me at cake vodka
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Randomize