Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
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