i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Damn victory sex feels great
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
