You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
