I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
