If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
you made out with another girl for some wings
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
