Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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