doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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