that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
