Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
