Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Let's paint friendship bongs
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
