would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize
